To the reader – This post is meant to be of a satirical nature. Absolutely no offence or disrespect is meant to anyone. We hope you get a good laugh out of it!
Being ‘different’ is all the rage these days. Fitting in, choosing safe options are all passé. Seeking adventure and the road less travelled are the flavour of the season. Why do the expected and recommended when you can take crazy risks? Why have a peaceful, trouble-free search for a home when you can enjoy the wild ride of uncertainty?
Here’s how you can make your house hunting an adrenalin-filled nightmare that will have your heart racing.
- Find dubious contacts:
Your adventurous home search should begin by identifying a website that features realty ads. But ensure that you don’t settle for the safe, reputed ones – the more bizarre and obscure, the better. These websites will then lead you on to shady brokers and unscrupulous sellers with listings that are either non-existent or breeding ground for blood-thirsty vampires. Nothing like a home with a ‘difference’, eh? - Research? Ha!
Prior research is for lily-livered wimps who cannot stand the thought of excitement. The less you know about the deal you’re getting into, the more chances of being bombarded with the unexpected. Unreliable builder? Great! Sky-high prices? Awesome! No permits for construction? Brilliant! - Not factoring hidden costs
Young people take on too many unnecessary worries with respect to home buying. Like trying to figure out if they can afford it, for instance. When everyone is buying homes, why can’t you? Also, the price that is quoted in the brochure is the only number you need to consider. Hidden costs like registration, parking space etc. are like unicorns – entirely mythical. - Documentation? Snore!:
Remember how annoying it was to deal with paperwork to join your first job and then get that car loan? Exactly. Save yourself the trouble and cruise through the documentation for your house purchase. Life’s too short to read through all that legal jargon! Why would anyone want to cheat you? The world is filled with kindness and sincerity after all! - Bungle the financial stuff:
Have you noticed how every nitwit on the planet has bought a house with a home loan? How hard could it possibly be, right? Since you earn a salary, any bank will be happy to give you a loan. Also there’s no point in worrying about EMIs or high interest rates – after all so many are repaying their home loans. It’ll be a breeze. - Skip the legal consult:
As long as the sale deed is in English, you don’t need to consult a lawyer. Basic details in the deed are all you need to check. Hidden clauses can serve as exciting reasons to tangle you in legal disputes for years afterwards. Who doesn’t love additional drama? - Omit pre-handover inspection:
Have you ever felt that home-buying checklists were created by control freaks? What’s with pre-handover inspections anyway? Once you’ve seen the model apartment, that’s that. All builders obviously know what they’re doing and cannot make a single error. Once the handover is complete, you’ll unlock the doors to your new haven which will be perfection guaranteed because life is just that predictable.
One is meant to sail through life with no extra effort or worry. Setting up your dream home is a ridiculously simple exercise and shouldn’t take any of your precious time. So stop overthinking and sign the next Sale Deed that floats by your field of vision!