From dream home to abject horror in 7 easy steps

To the reader – This post is meant to be of a satirical nature. Absolutely no offence or disrespect is meant to anyone. We hope you get a good laugh out of it!

Humanity is fatally attracted to self-sabotage. Want proof? Just look around! There will be no dearth of instances that will make you go “What was he/she thinking???”. The act of building a home is not excluded from this tendency. While everyone wishes to make their dream home a reality, some of us also manage to horrify visitors at the same time!

If you fancy yourself as a rule-breaking renegade, here are some logic-defying ways to make the construction of your home an ‘unforgettable experience’.

  1. Ignore ‘location, location, location’
    There’s no need to stress out about finding the right location. After all, it is a matter of luck and chance, isn’t it? Also if your undeserving ex-neighbour can get lucky with a home purchase, why can’t you?
  2. Budgets are boring!
    There’s nothing duller than the idea of crunching numbers to see how much you can afford for a house. Life is an adventure, so why not get creative and take a gamble at the house you like? Money comes and goes and it will work for you as well.
  3. Bypass permits
    Rules are followed by the cowardly. Living large requires courage. So forget about all those permits that required before constructing a home. Leave that to the wimps!
  4. Get creative
    Finding a good architect seems to be one of the popular pieces of advice for first-time home building owners. But here’s the thing – you know what you want and you are so creative (didn’t that astrologer tell you so the last time?). Then hiring an architect just seems like a waste of money. How hard can it be to take a scale and draw some boxes, right?
    When designing your dream home, don’t be held back by all that negativity that will come your way from ‘well-wishers’. A lot of advice such as ‘be practical’, ‘think functional’ will come by. They’re just jealous of your sense of style. Go big and go crazy!
  5. Be inspired
    India needs to change the way its real estate looks and that change should start with you. So go ahead and check out construction wonders across the world. Be inspired by the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Empire State Building, the Petronas Towers…..why, even the White House! You deserve all the grandeur and sophistication possible. Don’t worry if contractors say that it isn’t practical or suited to your location. They’re clearly not experienced enough.
  6. Trust your whims
    Your home needs to be a reflection of who you are. So don’t go with recommendations of others whether it comes to reliable contractors or best sources for materials. Go with what looks good and nothing else.
  7. Don’t sweat the schedule
    There will be a lot of people who will tell you that you have to enforce a delivery schedule with your contractor. They clearly have never managed people! Take a zen-like approach to the schedule and let your contractor take all the time he needs. After all, you live only once, so why nag them and make things unpleasant?

Building a home is a breeze. All you need is a keen eye to notice good construction examples. Don’t waste your time consulting other people.

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